Posted in Character Interviews

Have you met Laverne?

Some of you may know Laverne Debussy-Smith, fashion designer extraordinaire. I had the pleasure of meeting up with her recently for a short interview. She was on her way to Frankfurt for a fashion show.

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Me: Thank you for meeting with me Laverne. I love your shoes!

Laverne nods head regally, but she has a wicked sparkle in her eye.

“Thank you, chicken. I’m rather partial to them myself. They’ve been used in some interesting…positions.”

Laverne winks at me and I feel myself flush.

Wonderful, let’s get started on the questions then.

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Me: As a businesswoman could you ever see yourself taking over Alan Sugar’s role on The Apprentice?

Laverne: Oh, my God, no. That man is one nasty piece of work and I have no intention of aspiring to be such an a-hole. However, give me a bevy of naked men parading around trying to sell me their new business ideas on fashion and I might consider having my own show. ‘Laverne Does Britain’, how’s that for a title?

Have you and Brook had any more moments like that backstage at Club Delish?

Laverne fans herself but that naughty twinkle in her eyes is still there.

“How on earth did you hear about that -were there hidden cameras in that damn room? I wouldn’t put it past that cheeky Ryan to have those to record his own dalliances in there with the delicious Mango. I’d pay to see those snippets…but darling, don’t you know a lady never kisses and tells?” 

She blows a kiss at me, like Marilyn Munro. I feel oddly privileged to have been treated to one of them.lenny_laverne

Me: Have you met Brook’s parents yet?

Oh God, yes. It was the most nerve wracking experience of my life. I was throwing up for two days before we went there. I shouldn’t have worried. Dianne and Harry were absolutely charming and I can see where Brook gets his poise and good looks from. I made a bit of a fool myself over the snacks but then I’m used to ribs in a bucket, not that fancy cuisine they like to serve. 

What is the best piece of advice Leslie has ever given to you?

“Ahh, my favourite little chicken. “ Laverne sighs fondly. “He told me to get my head out of my arse and consider following the path of true love.” Laverne grins. “That wasn’t quite how it turned out, from my side anyway, but it all worked out for the best. Of course, that meeting in my office added five years onto my life, it was one of the most surreal experiences ever. And I’ve had a few of those.”

 Do you have any New Year’s resolutions for 2017?

Laverne rolls her eyes. “Sweetheart, no one sticks to those bloody things. The minute the first week of January is over, if not sooner, everyone goes back to their old tricks and all good intentions are forgotten” She smirks. “And I’m not one for good intentions. I prefer the bad kind.”

 I want to curtsy as she stands up to leave to catch her plane. I close off the interview with a handshake and a sniff of Laverne’s entrancing perfume

Well, as always, it’s been a pleasure. Thanks so much for coming down and answering my questions. And do pass my regards onto Leslie and Oliver. Tell them I’ll be in touch soon.

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