Posted in News and Appearances

I’m tired of being generalised about…


I might ruffle a few feathers with this one. But I’ve had enough. This is intended as a post of respect for both you and for me, so please treat it as such. No disrespect is intended towards anyone, I think I kept this fairly heartfelt.

Certain members of the LGBT community- I implore you – please don’t lump ‘M/M authors’ into one category. I have great respect for what you are all saying and agree with you 100% – but I get twitchy when M/M romance writers seem to be in danger of being demonised as a whole by the recent KA debacle. Generalising – as you well know- is dangerous. Since this whole fiasco, I’ve seen a lot of off colour comments from people about ‘straight women writing M/M romance’ (not gay or queer romance because apparently we don’t get to call it that -although I prefer those terms myself) , loads of blog posts about M/M authors only being in it for the money, (believe me I don’t make that much- I do it because I enjoy it) how  some of us have street teams who bully everyone else into agreeing with us (yes some do) and how being an ‘ally’ doesn’t really mean much to some in the community ‘because allies haven’t experienced what we have’. I agree with you on that one wholeheartedly. We don’t get to play in your sandbox simply because we write about gay men falling in love. However, I don’t use the word ‘ally’ when it comes to my support of the LGBT community. I use the word ‘human being’. Because that’s what I am and I have a sense of justice and fairness that plays out in many ways. That’s it. I’m not here to make a big name as an ‘ally’, or preen in my rainbow feathers because I move around in this community, which I adore by the way. I’m not here to grandstand, or marginalise anything the community does in its ever-constant battle to stay safe and be allowed acceptance, and to live life like any other member of the human race. I’m here to support where I can, help, learn – and educate myself every day. I share posts I think are valid, tweet things I think need saying, post things I think are important to say. I want people to know where I stand in this struggle of yours and in fairness, I think about that there can be no doubt. My daughter is bisexual so I do actually have some personal standing in this, I assure you.

It hurts my soul to see that whatever support I feel I’m giving is not worth it out there and being under-mined by unthinking, even if well-meant, comments by certain individuals. Please think twice before you make a blanket statement about people who have nothing but admiration and affection for you and only wish to do what’s right. And honestly – like you, I shouldn’t feel I have to defend the M/M author community. (This is purely my view, no other M/M authors were consulted in this post) Because we have a community too and in general, it’s a damn good one, full of people who care and who try to support and do good. It’s not all arseholes who blatantly don’t.

Thanks for listening to me. ♥♥

3 thoughts on “I’m tired of being generalised about…

  1. No feathers ruffled here. You’re right, there is no one size fits all. I will add that applies to both sides. You don’t have to agree 100% with everyone (as if that’s even possible?) to be supportive. Sadly this could have been avoided if a) there was a real apology and b) there wasn’t the round up, put on the Botany Bay and ship em off to kill each other comment. Once that poop hit the fan, and wasn’t shut down (the ‘it made me smile’ made it worse if possible) it was too full on royal rumble.

    On a personal note, I know where you stand – firmed on the side with me. That’s all I need to know. Thank you for being there with me. 🙂

  2. I haven’t read the post you speak of but I think I understand what it was about. So here is my take. Am I an ally of the LBGT movement? Yes. Why? Because I support human rights – all human rights. I am not concerned with the color of skin or who you love or what religion you practice but whether there is discrimination against you for any of those descriptions. I cannot be free if my fellow man are bound by restraints that does not allow that person to enjoy the rights and freedoms I have. I read M/M books written by both women and men and I had learned more about the issues that are faced by LBGT community – isolation from family, bullying, discrimination on the job, and loneliness that comes from being shunned. In addition, reading M/M books, I have learned more about transgender, and what they face. M/M books take the abstract concepts about being a member of the LBGT community and make them very personal because I am so invested in the characters of the book. Learning thru reading M/M books helps me be a stronger voice in support of the LBGT fight. Does it matter whether the person who write the book is gay? No, because when there is a fight for rights, every voice in support is important. That is what happened with the 1960’s civil rights movement – voices demanding equal rights for Black American were of every color, race, and creed. Human Rights cannot be the voice of a few but the voices of many. And anybody who helps to add voices to the fight – regardless of who they are and whether they are a member of the LBGT community – should be praised and not criticized for who they are.

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